I’m Sure my Autobiography will be Boring

So it’s my birthday today and believe me I dont know why I’m writing this or what I want to write. I just feel like it’s time I began talking about myself some more. So ama just let the pen go crazy.

I’ll start with the fact that I feel like I’m getting old. I feel like I have lost some years in the past. Though it is due to circumstances beyond me, I can’t help the feeling. This is why I try to move fast and be calculative in my actions and decisions. This is why I have that drive, that ethic, attitude, ambition,… I can’t afford to miss a step, I keep telling myself. I can’t afford to pedal slowly. I have to keep going! I mustn’t fail!

I know this may not be the best way to live life but if you come from where I’m coming from, you really wouldn’t be bothered about how to live life. You will be more dreadful of failure than anything.

This is my second birthday since I left the university and even though I’m not as fast as I would love, I can only be grateful. I’ve achieved things that at first appeared like dreams. I can’t really remember my last birthday as an undergraduate probably because my head was buried in the thoughts of what’s next after school. That was one of the most trying times for me. It wasn’t easy waking up to the reality of an average youth from a lower middle class home with no connection. Even though I was one of the few who recognised the reality at that early stage, it bothered me because I didn’t want to be another statistics.

One year later I celebrated my birthday in my first fulltime job. I was really excited about the progress I had made, but it wouldn’t take me 5months to want more. I knew I had the capacity for more. So, I moved to my current place of work. It’s really challenging and has taken me a longer time to thirst. But I can’t help it. I want to do more. I want to learn more. I’m not sure what ‘more’ means at the moment so I’m taking my time. By the end of my NYSC service this May, I believe that ‘more’ will have a clearer meaning to me.

Yesterday, someone asked me if there is something I know now that I wished I knew last year. That’s probably the hardest birthday question I’ve been asked. It’s over 24hrs and I still dont have an answer. My inability to provide an answer keeps ringing something in my head. Is it that I’ve not really learnt anything remarkable since my last birthday? Or maybe I just can’t remember.

Anyways, I don’t want to think about it too much. I’m not ready to increase the pressure on myself. Even though some of my many spirits will disagree, I think I’m doing just fine and hope to do better in the near future. So, I’ll take it easy and get what’s mine.

Lol. I’m sorry if this bore you. I live such a boring life, I’m sure my autobiography will bore me. Thank you for the wishes.